Twitch did WHAT??!

(no, I couldn’t align the video to the center smh)

This post might be a bit different of what I usually post but I really wanted to make this post. So it was International Women’s last week and I decided to stream. Out of the blue some guy named Kyle came into my stream with a weird icon (a wrench) next to his name, I’ve never seen it before so I was a bit confused. I eventually found out that he was part of the Twitch Staff. With my lame sense of humor, I started joking about hiding the drugs (very funny I know) but he eventually explained to me what he does and apparently he handles on the social media accounts for Twitch. He also explained to me that he used to work for IGN’s social media in the past. So he was the person who retweeted my tweet months ago for IGN about a Snapchat tweet I did. Man the world is so small. It was a coincidence that he was in my stream though, not sure why he clicked on my stream of all the others. It could be because my title was Happy International Women’s Day! Perhaps, I still don’t know for sure. Anyways, let’s continue the story. After a few minutes of talking, he mentioned why he was in my stream. Apparently he was going to tweet out my stream on Twitch’s official Twitter page and post it on their FB page. I was like What? WHAT? I was not expecting that to happen at all. So Kyle worked on his magic and BAM it was UP! My chat went crazy for a while, a lot of people stopped by that evening and I kept panicking haha. Regardless, it was a fun experience.

Thanks #KyleBae

– Siara

People Change

Today’s post is going to be about something everyone goes through in life, everyone.

I’ve lost count of how many people I have met in life that used to be close to me, close as in a real sister/brother. When I was young (teenager) I always thought that it was weird to suddenly grow apart from someone. I thought if you’re really close to someone then you’ll be friends forever…but boy I was wrong. I was too young to understand life, too young to understand how the human brain works.

People change, you change, everyone changes. Some friends change so much that you’re willing to drop the friendship for good because there is too much negativity to it. Negativity won’t lead you to any good so better off without it. Childhood friends ends up nothing but a memory in the end. Sounds a bit sad I know.

Now, I am not saying that all my childhood friends are out of the window, don’t get me wrong. I still have some friends that I’ve known since kindergarden and I know for a fact that we will be friends no matter what happens. Why? Because we keep it real. By that I mean if we have something against each other we tell, we don’t hide it and talk shit about it. That’s what a true friendship is about. You argue, talk it out and then you resolve it, like you do in a relationship. You know who your true friends are that you can count on no matter what.

I’ve had a lot of “best” friends in the past that didn’t grow up, spoke shit constantly, couldn’t stop lying and couldn’t stop with their drama and keep they couldn’t their shit together. These kind of friends are just not worth your time. Some friends you used to be good terms with suddenly changed in a way you didn’t like and you just wanted to leave. It has happened to me quite a bunch of times. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, I am just explaining it for you to understand that people change along their path of life, nobody stays the same. I am not saying that change is bad thing but sometimes, some changes might not be as good as you hoped they would be. Some friends also end up dropping you out of their lives, that has also happened to me a few times. I always question myself and think, is there something wrong with me? Have I done something wrong? If you haven’t done anything then it’s probably because they couldn’t handle your awesomeness. Some girl I used to know (I was 13 at the time) told me on the phone that she couldn’t handle me because I had too much energy (LOL) so yeah there you go, she wanted to hang with boring people. Good for her.

My whole point with this post is that don’t dwell about the past over old friends, it’s just part of life. Along your own path you will stubble on new friends, new faces and get new memories. Keep your chin up and smile.

(picture above was taken in Sequoia Parks, California)

– Siara

A New Chapter, Sacrifices & Growth

2017 will probably be one of my favorite years. I can’t tell you all the details yet but I have some big news to announce and I am looking forward to it. I am going to show my life a bit more than usual, open up which will be a bit weird because I am not used to it but it’s something I really want to do.

I want to grow and experience things. I want to see the world with my own eyes. There are so many things I want to do this year and I feel like it’s only the beginning. I turned 25 last week, which is insane. At the age of 20, I got a one way ticket to America, solo. I lived there for three whole years, crazy I know. Sometimes, you get a wake up call in life of wanting to do something new and risky. A lot of people don’t dare to even do them, instead they keep dreaming about it. Let me tell you a little secret, dreaming won’t take you anywhere. If you want to do things, you have to take the steps for yourself. Even if it’s baby steps, it still counts as progress. I am not talking about moving oversees now, I am talking about everything in life.

New things sounds scary, especially when it’s risky but how are you suppose to grow and learn from your mistakes when you don’t even make a single move at all? When you take a step and fail, you’ll know what to do next time to carry on. It makes you stronger along the way and wiser. Just because you fail doesn’t mean that you’ve lost it all. Failure is knowledge. It’s like the first time you fell off your bicycle when you were a kid when you took the short bumpy road rather than the long and even one. There are no shortcuts in life, same thing goes with success. Nothing is offered free in life, in order to achieve you have to be willing to sacrifice something in return.

This post is dedicated to those who are afraid of taking that first step. I want to tell you, whoever you are that everything will be fine as long as you keep walking forward. It will take time but eventually, you’ll get there.

You only live once, right?

– Siara

Thank you for 2016 Bunny Squad <3

This post is dedicated to my followers on Twitch. I want to thank all of you who has been around in 2016. Some of you might be old followers from 2015 and some of you might be new followers from 2016. Regardless of when you guys followed/supported me, I just want to say thank you. I might not be the perfect streamer on Twitch, I try to be to though. I know my humors are dryer than the desert but I still try to make lame jokes and make you guys smile. I am happy that I can be myself online, not a wannabe and be accepted of who I am. I know that I don’t stream as much as I did before, it makes me a bit sad. Hopefully I can grow more this year and stream more than before!

You guys rock my world and you mean a lot to me. Thank you so much for all the love and support.

Let’s make 2017 a good one shall we?

– Siara

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…or is it?

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December, lights, music and yummy food. It sounds good doesn’t? But, everyone doesn’t have that feeling of joy in December, even though they have everything they need in life.

Winter can be depressing at times (depends where you live). If you live in a dark cold place like I do then you will relate to this post. This post is going to be about how to get the Christmas spirit back up on cloud 9, like it used to be when you were a kid.

Before I get into it, I know some of you might not even celebrate Christmas but this post is a guidance to those who doesn’t like cold winters so it might help you a bit too, so don’t give up reading this yet!

Small meaningful things matters. I always told myself that in life, you don’t have to make major changes to be able to enjoy it to the fullest. Start appreciating small things in life! It could be from looking forward to eat a yummy meal for dinner to seeing a childhood friend for coffee. It is that simple.

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Food. Some of the small things I enjoy in life is food. I like trying new dishes, eating my favorite dishes and taking nice foodporn angled pictures! Some people don’t see food the way I do of course, everyone is different but if you’re like me when it comes to food, then keep doing what you’re doing.

Challenges. I love to challenge myself in something. If I have a goal or a deadline I try my best to be as creative as possible and just make it happen. Even if I don’t manage to finish a goal in time, I would still be proud of myself for finishing what I started. That satisfaction is the best. So try to be creative and make a list of things you want to do week by week.

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Baking. This might categorize as food but I still think it’s a bit different. During December you will stumble on a lot of Christmas decorations and a lot of Christmas music, the only thing that is missing is the baking! Start baking something that contains cinnamon and ginger! There are tons of recipes out there that you can try! Perhaps it’s time to skill up your baking skills? You will end up learning something at the same times as making something yummy. Isn’t that awesome?

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Decorating. November is almost at its end and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Usually, you wait until Thanksgiving is over until you start with the decorations but you know what? Who cares? If you feel like putting up your tree before that time, good for you! An early start might give you a small boost of Christmas spirit!

Candles. This might sound ridiculous but this actually helps. Scented candles is like therapy for me. Try to find Christmas scented candles for your home! My ultimate favorite is Apple Cinnamon Pumpkin from Bath & Body Works. Their candles are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! They last for a long time too. I bought two candles from there years ago and it took two years to actually finish them off. Note that I didn’t use them everyday. I did light them up often though, mostly when I was taking a bubble bath. Ah, good times. You can find out more of their products here.

Lists. (yeah yeah my handwriting sucks eh) Don’t wait until the New Year starts to follow up with your New Years resolution, start today! Start making a list of things you want to do and accomplish. Also, keep track on your accomplished goals so that you remember them and feel happy about the outcome. Don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back too.

Events. Are you good at organizing things and do gatherings? Perhaps you should start hosting your own events! Try to organize an event once a month with your friends. It could be a hangout at home playing board games or going bowling. It’s really up to you! Make a group chat/event on a platform and make it happen.

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Playlist. If you’re trying to get the Christmas spirit up, make sure to make a Christmas playlist on Spotify! (or any other platform you use for music) If you’re not into Christmas music then make a winter playlist of your favorite old and new music.


Movies. Last but not least, Christmas movies. The one I recommend the most is Home Alone. That one is a good nostalgic “Christmasy” movie. It always airs on tv close to Christmas and I love that movie so much. If you’re not fond of that movie no worries! There are tons more out there!

I hope this list gave you some inspiration of things to do during this cold and dark winter. Let me know if you’re already doing some of these things!

– Siara

Stereotype Gamers

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This is a subject that does pass by from time to time when I meet new people in my life. It’s something I have to deal with and accept but that doesn’t mean I can’t vent it out somewhere.

I am sick and tired of people who stereotype gamers, I hate it. It’s something I have been through since I was a kid. People would be surprised that I would play games just because I was a girl. Does it bloody matter if I am a girl or a boy? No it does not.

The kids would talk about GTA 3 in the playground at elementary school (sorry once again ma for playing it underaged) and I would join their conversation out of the blue because I would know exactly what they’re talking about. The boys would give me a weird surprising look and ask me if I had played the game. At the time I didn’t understand why, but the older I got the more I realised that girls who played games were “rare” even though we really weren’t. That’s why I ended up not liking to talk about games as often because it would be considered as different and I couldn’t be bothered with it. It’s a bit sad now when I think about it.

My interest for games were a bit different than a casual gamer because I wanted to be a designer myself which meant that the conversation would eventually come up. My studies for example, people would ask me what I was currently studying. I didn’t feel comfortable when someone would ask, especially a guy. As soon as I would tell, they would get surprised and then ask me “Wait, you play video games?” …if i study to become a designer then of course I’d have a big interest in playing as well. Some people are just blockheads. Then I suddenly notice that the guy starts acting a bit more attracted to me for some weird ass reason. Maybe they’re hoping we’d kick it and play some games or something, I don’t know. Then they would say that I don’t look like one of those and I would ask “Those? What do you mean by those?” Of course, I already knew what the guy was about to say but I wanted to be 100% sure and hope that there is still hope in humanity when it came to the gaming community. “You don’t look like a typical gamer” …okay I am done. This is one of the lamest questions I’ve ever heard in my entire life. What the fudge does that even mean? One of “those” ? It’s like they’re trying to make up their own species or something. You know what he says next? “A fat guy who plays games in the dark and eats Taco Bell” …WTF dude. WTF. I was done talking with this dude. I excused myself asap and just walked away. Bloody moron. The sad thing is that this has happened a lot of more times before too that’s why I kept avoiding talking about it.

Recently I was hanging with my friend and I was talking about a game with her (she doesn’t game) and then her boyfriend then says “Siara should’ve been born as a guy because she’s so into games” …….So let me get this straight, you say that just because that I am a woman it is wrong to game? I have to be a man to be normal? Call me a feminist bitch but that’s bloody sexist. I got so angry when he said that. Wtf dude. Not a fond of him ever since.

I don’t avoid talking about gaming as much today because I work in the field and it’s a part of my life now. I just embrace it and accept that there are some small minded assholes out there that lives under a rock under the sea somewhere and I guess they need some education but they just aren’t smart enough to store that education inside their small minded brains. That’s why they keep choking out nonsense out of their throats. If you happen to be one of those people then try store this info and next time when you approach a woman in the gaming industry, treat her equal.

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I am proud to be woman and being a part of the gaming industry.

– Siara

A Girl’s Confession

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A lot of people have asked me why I wanted to become a game designer (even before my studies) and I wanted to talk about it here on my blog.

Why did I want to become a game designer? It all started with my obsession with The Legend of Zelda – A Link to the Past. My dad got me a Super Nintendo when I was about three years old and I fell in love with the console. I was a noob at playing games (obviously, because I was three) but I kept playing and playing until I would somehow solve the puzzles in the game (it was not skilled based though, it was all luck.) Some of the games that I played didn’t even have any English subtitles, they were all in Japanese. Not that my English were on point at that age, I could barely speak any Swedish. I would play Megaman-X, Donkey Kong Country, Super Mario World and last but not least, The Legend of Zelda – A Link to The Past. I am not gonna lie, I was obsessed with that game. I wouldn’t let my little brother play that game because I was worried that he would save over my file or break the game. We would always get into fights because of that. My mum would end up taking the power supply of the Super Nintendo and we wouldn’t be able to play anything for days due to our silly fights. Good times (Sorry brother)

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This might sound ridiculous but it actually took me about seven years to beat The Legend of Zelda – a Link to the Past. Why? Well I could barely hold a controller at the age of three and how the hell would I be able to complete a game that involved puzzles and understanding English? It was too hard for me. I completed the game at the age of 10 and I was still a noob when it came to English. I had to ask my mum for help to understand some of the clues but she stopped helping me at one point. She was too busy with her exams anyways. I even asked the neighbor for help, he was a few years older than me. He also got tired of helping eventually. So I had to figure this game out without understanding the clues in the game. It was tricky but I made it in the end. After I actually completed the game, I was lost. All these years of struggling and fighting was now over. I started  to feel empty inside, it was a weird feeling indeed. The fact that I spent so much time playing that game and completed it in the end made me feel like I wanted more. I started to look up to Shigeru Miyamoto later on, he was like a hero to me then, still is today.

The older I got, the more Zelda games got released. I ended up playing Ocarina of Time. I compared the game with A Link to the Past and I was so amazed how the 3D environment looked compared to the over top down 2D. & the music was just beautiful. The composers did such a good job back then.

When they announced Twilight Princess I got super excited but at the same time a bit worried if they would make a lot of changes or not. When I finally got the game, I locked myself in my room and started playing it non stop. It took me 3-4 days to complete it. Which is a bit sad compared to the seven years of struggling with A Link to the Past. I am not gonna lie, Twilight Princess is one of my favorite Zelda games. That game was very dark and different compared to the other games but they made it work so well and I was amazed with the design. I was so emotionally attached to the characters in the game that I started crying at the end. I was so amazed how a game made me feel this way, how connected I felt in their world and emotionally attached. This made me release that I also want to create and make people smile, laugh and cry while playing a game. I wanted to make people happy and to be emotionally attached to the characters and the gameplay.

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The conclusion? I blame my dad for buying me a Super Nintendo. So I would say it’s thanks to my dad that I am a Game Designer today. Perhaps I should buy him a cake, or maybe some chocolate? Hmm.

Thanks dad, you’re awesome.

 

– Siara

 

Riding a Gondola in Venice

I don’t know where to start with this blog post. First of all, today was a magical day and also painful. Never wear uncomfortable high heels in Venice, actually, never wear heels in Venice in general, period.

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We took the bus to Venice early in the morning and ended up eating our breakfast on the bus so that we would avoid a lot of crowds in Venice. As soon as I arrived, I got amazed by the water canals and started taking photo of every single thing I found fascinating, like a real tourist lol. I was so amazed of this town and how it was “designed”. No cars, just boats. Venice is quite bigger than I thought it would be. Perhaps that’s because we were walking a lot today. We ended up heading to St Mark’s Square (Piazza San Marco) and went up to the St Mark’s Tower to watch the view. Of course it was a long queue when we arrived (boo) but it only lasted for 30 minutes then we were good to go. The cost of going up the tower was €8 each.

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We headed back down and that’s when my feet were killing me. The heels I was wearing were new and I hadn’t really walked with them a lot so I wasn’t sure if they were comfortable or not. I had to buy new shoes right away. We walked around a bit but no shoe places anywhere. We passed so many before we arrived to the square but now…nothing. After some while I ended up finding a few shops. Found a pair of shoes in my size (I didn’t care how they looked like, that’s how desperate I was) bought them and wore them right away. They looked alright but after like 1 hour of walking the insoles were sliding off somehow and when I took out my foot I noticed that the glue had melted off due to the heat. Cheap ass shoes indeed. Nothing I could’ve done I just had to deal with it the rest of the day (ended up throwing them when I got back).

Josh’s friend recommended a restaurant to eat in Venice and apparently they had meatballs in their menu! We got lost a few times but it took us a good hour to find it. When we finally arrived we saw a notice outside the door saying that the restaurant wont be open from mid July till end of August. I was really sad because I wanted my meatballs (sob) we ended up going into a random restaurant nearby and had some spaghetti bolognese and it was amazing.

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After that we ended up strolling around the area and enjoying the weather and the view. I always wanted to ride a Gondola ever since I was a little girl but the pricing of the 20 minute ride was ridiculous. The charge was €80 (daytime) to ride one. I am not sure if you need to pay more if there are more people than two on it though. We ended up going on one in the end and I must say it was worth it to me. Not because of my childhood dream coming through but the view and the canals were just so fascinating. All these buildings have a history and it was amazing to see all of that from the Gondola. I am happy that we went on one in the end.

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After that we decided to walk around the area once again, eat ice cream and take more photos. After some time, we decided to go back to the flat and have dinner around here instead. We had been walking since early in the morning and it was 6 PM when we decided to go back. My feet are still hurting from today and I just wanted to throw those shoes away and clean my feet from the glue of the shoes I got on me.

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I changed my outfit for the evening to feel a bit more fresh (lol) all that walking earlier made me uncomfortable in that dress. So we decided to take more photos and then find a place to eat. We went to a different place this time and they had some interesting things on their menu. I decided to get a eggplant pizza (I told  them to add dried beef on top of it to make it my own version) it was really good. I enjoyed it a lot. Josh ordered a funny looking hamburger that looked like a sandwich somehow. He enjoyed it regardless. After that we decided to head back and here I am writing this. It was a long day indeed but it was a memorable one.

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Can’t wait to head to Lido di Venezia tomorrow!

– Siara

My first gelato ice cream in Milano

fountain Today we decided to go to this park that I had never heard of. It was huge. Along the way (we actually got lost) we found a castle, well we actually found the castle first lol, clever right. And there were so many stray cats around the castle. They were everywhere! Taking naps and just strolling around. They were so cute and adorable. I bet the caste was theirs and they were just protecting it from evil, I am sure that’s the case *nods*

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Anyways, we finally found the park and then I saw that they were selling Gelato ice cream. I was curious about the taste because it was highly recommended to eat when traveling to Italy. I bought my Vanilla Gelato (I forgot to take a photo…) and it tasted alright. I was actually quite disappointed. Josh mentioned  that this isn’t “real” Gelato and that we need to find a better place to try it once again.
After strolling around the park and enjoying the view we decided to head back to check out the Air BnB. We were going to head to Venice from the station and I was looking forward to it a lot. The train ride wasn’t that long (2h 25min) we ended up eating lunch, snacks and watching a movie on the laptop. The view was nice and before I knew it, I had arrived to beautiful Venice.

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Link enjoying the train ride
We headed to our new Air BnB and then strolled around  the area. We aren’t located in the heart of Venice though, it’s about 20 minutes away. Because we arrived quite late today we decided to not go there and just explore the area instead which was nice. It was late in the evening and people were just around spending time together, it was very warm and cozy around the area and I loved it.

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We found a restaurant around the area and I ordered some Spaghetti Cabonara. It was so good but once again…I couldn’t handle the cheese. I don’t know what they put in their cheese but this one made me full and ill once again too. It wasn’t as severe as the previous dish though but I managed  to eat half of it at least. It was really good, I am not gonna deny that though.

On our way back, Josh got himself a Gelato icecream and he said that it tasted so much better than the one we had at the park. I didn’t get any because I didn’t want to get more sick (I really wanted some though)

I am looking forward to tomorrow. My dream is gonna come true!

 

– Siara

Milano, Italy

We arrived quite late on Friday and I was so exhausted. The weather was so warm in the evening though and I was loving it. We didn’t go out until the next day because the time was 10 pm and I wanted to sleep. We woke up quite early today and headed out for breakfast (there were no breakfast places close to the Air BnB though -_- so we ate at Burger King instead lol so lame) but then we took the tube and headed to see Duomo di Milano. Unfortunately…it was raining the whole day today. So I had  to carry around my umbrella. It was going to thunder too and we wanted  to go up the Cathedral but the combination of that didn’t sound good to my ears. Rain, thunder and being on top of a church, no thanks. So we ended up strolling around the area and taking photos.

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I had my first pasta in Italy today. I ordered a creamy chicken pasta with mushrooms (note that it was barely any chicken in my pasta, apparently they don’t put a lot of meat in their food) it was good but then I started to feel sick. I am not sure if it was the cheese in the pasta or not but I just didn’t feel good. I started to feel better after a nap when we got back to the flat.

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This was the pasta that I had (it looks good though. I would eat it again lol)

We went out for dinner around the area and found a really good place and I ordered my first Italian pizza, asparagus pizza.  I ordered it and it tasted pretty good. Although, it was a Margherita pizza with some asparagus on the top lol. Regardless, I was satisfied. I noticed that their pizza is even thinner than Swedish pizza which is insane! Yet I got full eating that.

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So much food, so little time.

– Siara